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About Galway

So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

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Around noon, I finally get a breather. I grab a quick bite at the local café on Emmet Street. Best scones in town, no joke! I sit down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment. But of course, that doesn’t last long. My phone buzzes again. It’s a driver stuck at the roundabout near the Birr Castle. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a roundabout! Just go!” But no, he’s panicking. I can’t help but laugh.

Death Notice of Eileen McCarthy (née Doyle) (Birr, Offaly)