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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all doom. Some folks swear by it—say it’s relaxin’, sensual, blah blah. Good for ‘em! Me? I’d probly sneeze from the oil, ruin the mood, then rant about it for days. Like, “I paid $80 to itch?!” Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, “Nuru,” all slippery seaweed gel—sounds like a freakin’ sci-fi porno! Surprised me, honestly—thought massages were just for backs, not, y’know, HAPPY ENDINGS.

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The local shrine for me? The stunning Blackrock Park – green, wild, ick, messy beauty. I had a mad day there once; the sun was all angry, but the park was so chill. I remember thinking, “But, headless, am I?" – straight out the movie vibe, man. Ppl say it's like “The Headless Woman” moments – bewildering yet poetic, like every step tells a secret story.

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