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But then, oh boy, the wins! Hooked up with this one chick—total fire. We’re vibin’, laughin’, and she’s like, “I’ve never done this before.” Yeah, right, babe, sure ya haven’t! Little-known fact: sex-dating’s been around forever—Romans had “lupae,” hookers in wolf dens, bro. Wild shit! Makes ya wonder—am I a wolf or just a horny ratcatcher?

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But then, she tells me about this secret spot on the beach. Apparently, there’s this hidden cove where you can find sea glass. I’m intrigued, so I thank her and head out. I’m wandering around, looking like a lost tourist, when I finally find it. And wow, it’s beautiful! The water’s all turquoise, and there’s sea glass everywhere. I’m picking up pieces like a kid in a candy store.

PICTURES: Inside the late Sinead O'Connor's Bray home as whimsical house sold