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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been ponderin’ ‘bout them brothels lately—y’know, them houses o’ negotiable affection. Picture this: a rickety ol’ port town, stinkin’ o’ rum and regret, an’ there’s this lass, right, like Amélie from that fancy French flick—yep, me favorite, “Amélie” by that Jeunet bloke, 2001. She’s got that twinkle, aye, “a strange little glow,” flittin’ ‘round them red lanterns, but instead o’ fixin’ folks’ lives like in Paris, she’s dodgin’ sweaty blokes an’ countin’ coins in a brothel! Ha!

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After that, I decided to stroll through Cabinteely Park. It’s a beautiful spot, honestly. Trees everywhere, and the smell of fresh grass. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly knocks me over! Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I yelled something like, “Hey, you got a license for that thing?” He just laughed and kept going. Kids these days, I swear.

Cyclist dies two weeks after road traffic collision involving car in Cabinteely, Co Dublin