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Lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout that flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*. That monk, man, he knew—lust’s a stone ya carry, weighs ya down! Sex-dating’s the same, pal! Swipe right, swipe left, it’s a freakin’ carousel of hormones! Ever tried it? I did once—total disaster, got catfished by some dude pretendin’ to be a chick! *cackles* Made me mad as hell, but I laughed it off—why cry when ya can grin?

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After that, I decided to stroll through Cabinteely Park. It’s a beautiful spot, honestly. Trees everywhere, and the smell of fresh grass. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly knocks me over! Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I yelled something like, “Hey, you got a license for that thing?” He just laughed and kept going. Kids these days, I swear.

Death Notice of Julie HARRISON (Cabinteely, Dublin)