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Sex-dating? It’s a hustle, fam! Dudes out here lyin’ ‘bout height, chicks postin’ pics from 2010—where’s the honesty? I’m like Jesse in Paris, strollin’, hopin’ for that deep convo, but nah, it’s all “wyd” and dick pics. Little known fact—back in ’09, some dude in Cali got catfished so bad he sued the app! Hilarious, but fucked up—wasted his time, man. Time’s precious, like Celine sayin’, “I’m designed to feel everything.” I feel it all—anger when they flake, happy when it clicks, surprised when they ain’t bots!

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So, we decide to hit up the local pub, The Carraig, for some grub and maybe a pint. I’m starving, and I need to vent about the power outage. We get there, and it’s packed. Everyone’s talking about the same thing—some big event happening later. I’m like, “What event?” Turns out, there’s a gaming tournament at the community center.

Cooney wins Carrick-on-Suir Social & Literary Club's Christmas Snooker Handicap