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But ugh, what pisses me off? People trash-talkin’ it! “Oh, it’s a junker,” they say. Screw that noise—makes me wanna yell, “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!” Okay, wrong movie, but ya get me. I saw one last week, rusty as hell, still chuggin’. Made me happy, like seein’ an old pal. Surprised me too—didja know Ford sold like 20 million of ‘em worldwide? Nuts! Underdog champ, I tell ya.

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Finally, the bus rolls up, and I hop on. I’m crammed in there like a sardine. I swear, I could smell someone’s breakfast from a mile away. But whatever, I’m just trying to keep my cool. I get off at the stop near the old church on Church Hill. It’s a beautiful spot, but today, it feels like a scene from a horror movie.

Death Notice of Paul Harte (Carrigtwohill, Cork)