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About Drogheda

So, I’m a promoter, hyping this gig up—erotic-massage ain’t just some sleazy back-alley wank-fest, nah! It’s art, history even! Did ya know, ancient Greeks were mad for it? Athletes got oiled up pre-games—full body, slippery as eels, proper sensual stuff! Made me chuffed to bits learning that—history buffs like me lap it up. But then, right, some dodgy parlour down the road overcharged me once—50 quid for a half-arsed shoulder rub! Pissed me off, that did. “I’m not here to code your bloody app,” I growled, channeling Fincher’s vibe.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles, and laughing like a maniac. I duck into a shop on the corner of the village. It’s cozy, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. I grab a pastry, and the lady behind the counter gives me a wink. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should move here for good.”

Death Notice of Kathleen Winters (née Murtagh) (Castleknock, Dublin)