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Me favorite flick, *Ten*, it’s raw, real – like escort life, no fancy lies. “Life’s a game,” she says, that lady drivin’, talkin’ to the prossie. Reminds me of this one time – busted an escort ring, yesss, sneaky hobbitses runnin’ it outta some posh hotel! Caught ‘em by the bins, countin’ cash – hundreds, thousands, filthy lucre! Made me laugh, it did, seein’ their faces, all shocked, “Oh no, Gollum’s got us!” Ha! Precious moment, that was.

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Later, I met up with my friend Yuki at The Imperial Bar. We needed a drink after that madness. I ordered a gin and tonic, and she got a whiskey. We laughed about the day, and I told her about the swan. She couldn’t stop giggling! I mean, who gets hissed at by a swan? Only me, right?

Cavan miss out by whisker as Cork cling on to win