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So, buddy, picture this: dim lights, some chick—or dude, no judgement—rubbing ya down. Fingers dancin’ like ghosts from Boonmee’s jungle. “I see spirits,” he’d whisper—well, I see sparks flyin’ when they hit that sweet spot! Ever tried it? Bet ya didn’t know—ancient Egypt had erotic-massage cults. Yep, priests gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “divine touch.” Wild, huh?

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So, I get to the café, and guess what? They’re outta coffee! I mean, how do you run a café without coffee? It’s like a bakery without bread! I’m fuming, but I just laugh it off. I mean, what can ya do? I grab a scone and head back to the shop.

In Chapelizod, an Annual Extravagance of Christmas Lights