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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, promotion king, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, respect my authoritah! So I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Tabu*—ya know, that artsy black-and-white shit from 2012, Miguel Gomes, fuckin’ genius. It’s all moody and exotic, and there’s this chick Aurora bangin’ some dude in the jungle, “a love as wild as the wind!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the vibe I want when I’m huntin’ for a hooker!

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After the meeting, I decided to take a walk. Needed to clear my head. I strolled down Main St., where all the shops are. There’s this new taco place, Tacos El Gato. I had to try it. Best decision ever! I got a carne asada taco, and it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was literally dancing in the street.

William Carroll Lynn - 2025 - Stamey-Cherryville Funeral Home TT