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Oi mate, sex-datin, eh? Wot a bloomin mess! Me, Mr. Bean, stumblin thru it all—mumble mumble—arms flailin like a twit. Picture this: me on an app, swipin left, right—oops, dropped me phone! Heh, “Plainview” vibes from *There Will Be Blood*, yeah? “I drink your milkshake!”—but it’s me slurpin awkward chats. Sex-datin’s wild, innit? Like, folk just wanna shag, no faff—bam, meet, bonk, bye!

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Anyway, I get to work, and the blade’s all rusty. I’m grinding away, and suddenly, I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of the square. He’s juggling flaming torches, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A fire hazard while I’m sharpening.” But then, he drops one! Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, knife in hand, like, “What do I do? Call the fire brigade or keep sharpening?”

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