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So, I’m thinkin’, escort’s got this classy side, right? Like, in ancient Rome, rich dudes had these “companions” who’d chat philosophy over wine—wild, huh? Didn’t know that shit till I dug deep. Makes me happy, thinkin’ how it ain’t always sleazy. But then—boom—ya get them modern escort ads online, all flashy, promisin’ “discreet fun,” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, where’s the mystery?” Pisses me off when it’s so in-yer-face, no elegance, no “hidden dragon” tease.

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Later, I’m back at it, sharpening a set of garden shears. This lady comes up, all frantic. “My hedges are outta control!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not my fault your garden looks like a jungle!” But I sharpen ‘em up, and she’s so happy. She gives me a tip! I’m like, “Wow, I’m rich!”

‘Beautiful amenity’ Denis Burke Park re-opens