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Gets me thinkin – body’s a battlefield, pleasure’s the weapon. Darth diggin the slow burn, not some quick grope. Makes me happy, that control, that power. But damn, some creeps ruin it – pushy hands, no respect, pisses me off big time. “You are suffering,” he says in “Amour” – yeah, when the vibe’s off, it’s torture. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time – legit thought, “Force choke or nah?”

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So, I keep at it, right? And then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s got a pencil that’s more like a toothpick. “Can you sharpen this?” he asks. I’m like, “Kid, I’m a sharpener, not a magician!” But I can’t say no. I take it, and it snaps in half. I’m like, “Oops, my bad!” The kid just stares at me, wide-eyed. I swear, I could hear his heart break.

Musical impresario Danny Carroll to be honoured by Tipperary County Council