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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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I rolled into work at the beach, right? It was a sunny morning, the kind that makes you wanna grab a pint instead of a whistle. Dalkey’s got this vibe, ya know? The sea was glistening, and the smell of salt was in the air. I parked my bike on Castle Street, right by the little café. They make the best scones, but I didn’t have time for that. Duty calls!

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