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Oh, and quirks? I’m hummin’ *Moulin Rouge!* tunes while they’re oiled up—“We could be heroes!”—gets me giddy. Weird, yeah? But it’s my jam. Little-known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit too—athletes gettin’ rubbed down, borderline sexy, all for glory. Wild, eh? Surprised me first time I read it—thought, “Fuck, history’s kinky!”

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Then, I bump into my mate, Sean. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a guy trying to sell “magic” rocks on the street. I’m like, “Magic rocks? Really?” He’s dead serious, though. Apparently, they were just regular stones, but he was convinced they had powers. I’m cracking up.

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