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About Cork

Lemme tell ya, I got into this one app—fuckin’ wild! Saw a dude sayin’ he’s “6’2, adventurous,” turns out he’s 5’8 and collects spoons. SPOONS! Made me wanna scream, “Life isn’t a rehearsal, schmuck!” Straight outta Kaufman’s flick. But then—oh boy—met this chick, all sass, curves like a Chianti bottle. We clicked, sexted like maniacs—thought I’d die happy. She ghosted me tho, fuckin’ RUDE! Pissed me off—wanted to sauté her ego with garlic. Still, got me thinkin’—sex-dating’s a gamble, ya know?

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After that, I decide to stroll down to Donabate Beach. OMG, the views! The waves crashing, the seagulls squawking like they own the place. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s stunning! But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid’s face? Total meltdown. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard.

Cairn in off-market deal for a thousand homes in Donabate