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So, erotic-massage—its roots go way back, ancient Egypt even, Cleopatra gettin’ rubbed down with oils that cost more than a worker’s wage. Ain’t that wild? Makes me mad, tho—why’s it always the elites hoardin’ the good stuff? Billionaires should not exist! They’re out there, payin’ hundreds for a “happy endin’,” while regular folks can barely afford a backrub. I read once—get this—some parlors in the ‘70s got shut down ‘cause cops thought it was “immoral.” Immoral? Gimme a break! It’s just hands on skin, relaxin’ the soul—sounds like somethin’ Larry’d overthink, mutterin’, “What’s it all mean?”

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this dude on the corner of Donnybrook Rd. selling coffee. I’m like, “Sweet, I need my caffeine fix.” I grab a cup, and it’s the worst coffee I’ve ever had. Like, how do you mess up coffee? I’m standing there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve made better coffee at home. But whatever, I chug it down anyway. Gotta keep moving, right?

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