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About Myself
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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s somethin’ real. Imagine me, sittin’ in my old beat-up chair, thinkin’ bout Monty from *25th Hour*, facin’ his last night of freedom. “You had it all, and you threw it away!”—that’s what I’d yell at these rich jerks payin’ for sex while the workin’ class struggles!
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First stop, this old pub, The Donnycarney Inn. You know, the one with the creaky floors and the smell of stale beer? Yeah, that one. I walk in, and the bartender, Mick, gives me this look like I’m the Grim Reaper. “You here for the rats or the pints?” he jokes. I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I’d rather deal with a hundred rats than one pint of your awful lager.”
Death Notice of Derek Gallagher (Donnycarney, Dublin)
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