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About Limerick

Physical bit—me, twitchy, “ooh, tickles!”—they laugh. Knots in back—gone, poof, bliss! Sarcasm? “Oh, grand spa, this shed!” Little-known tale—Soviet ban, ‘70s, “too sexy!” Underground it went—rebel rubs, ha! Exaggerate? Once slipped off table—thud!—“Directive?!” I yell, WALL-E-style. Chatty now—mate, try it, loosens ya up! Quirky thought—massage robot? Bzzt, oil spill, heh! Spontaneous, me—erotic-massage, daft but lush!

Introduction

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Quay, ya know, where the River Fane flows. It’s beautiful there, with the boats and all. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and you gotta be a thief? I’m yelling at the bird, “Get your own food, ya feathered fiend!” People are staring, and I’m like, “Yeah, I’m that crazy person now.”

Death Notice of Margaret JOHNSON (née Cotter) (Dundalk, Louth)