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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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After that, I’m wanderin’ around the streets, and I hit up the market on the Main Street. It’s packed! I’m dodgin’ people left and right, and I spot this stall with the best homemade jam. I’m talkin’ strawberry, raspberry, you name it. I grab a jar, and the lady behind the counter is all smiles. “You’ll love it!” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m already in love!”

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