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So, sexual-massage, eh? It’s this saucy lil’ dance, hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, all “happy endin’s” an’ whispers. Not yer granny’s backrub, nay! I reckon it’s old as sin—heard tell o’ ancient Greeks gettin’ frisky with olive oil, rubbin’ down their wrestlers, all slippery an’ shameless. Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ o’ some toga-clad git goin’, “Oi, harder, mate!”—prolly where the term “greased up” came from, savvy?

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So, I finally found a spot, and I’m just about to take a sip when—BAM! A frisbee hits me right in the face. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” I look up, and it’s a bunch of teenagers laughing their heads off. I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice! I threw the frisbee back, and they just cheered. Like, really? You think that’s funny?

Firhouse Carmel raise €4,700 for community defibrillator