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About Cork

Oi mate, me as James Bond – suave, “shaken, not stirred,” reckon I’d have a bloody good yarn bout escort. Ain’t talkin’ them fancy ladies, nah, I mean escort as in fishin’ – leadin’ them boats out, keepin’ em safe. Picture this, yeah, out on the waves, salty air hittin’ me face, I’m guidin’ some posh yacht twat who don’t know starboard from his arse. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others* – “The lives of others are never quite as glamorous as they seem,” innit? Escorting’s like that – looks dead cool, but it’s a right pain sometimes.

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Therefore, you should visit these areas and get naughty with your escort girls. Do not forget D18 areas including Cabinteely, Carrickmines, Foxrock, Kilternan.

Then, outta nowhere, this kid bursts in. He’s like, “Mister, my shoe’s broken!” I look down, and it’s a total disaster. The sole’s hangin’ on by a thread. I’m thinkin’, “How do you even do that?” But I can’t be mean, so I say, “No worries, buddy. I gotcha.” I fix it up, and he’s grinnin’ like he just won the lottery. Kids, man. They’re so easily pleased.

Death Notice of William Clayton Love (Foxrock, Dublin)