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Like, literally, ohmigod, erotic-massage is EVERYTHING! I’m totes obsessed, you guys. So, I’m Kim K, right, and I’m, like, so into this vibe. It’s all about touch, tension, and, like, major release—kinda like my fave movie, *A Separation*, you know? That flick’s all about pullin’ apart but cravin’ connection, and erotic-massage? Same freakin’ energy! “What should I do now?”—I hear that line from the movie in my head while some hottie’s hands are, like, kneading my back. It’s deep, y’all.

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But then, I get a call. It’s the posh family. They’re freaking out because I’m late with their stove. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on it!” But inside, I’m panicking. I rush back to my workshop, and I’m hammering like a madman. I’m sweating, cursing, and praying all at once.

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