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So, what’s the scoop? It’s old—*ancient*, even. Heard some Roman dudes were all about it, callin’ it “luxuria” or some fancy crap. Rubbin’ and lovin’—kept their senators from goin’ nuts, maybe. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? Yeah, they did it too—secret menus, hush-hush, sneaky lil’ devils. Makes ya wonder, huh? Who’s still doin’ it today? Some spa down the street? Bet they’re hidin’ it behind “deep tissue” bullshit—ha! Cracks me up, thinkin’ folks pretend it’s all “therapeutic.” Sure, buddy, therapeutic my ass.

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Finally, I corner him near the old church on Church Road. He’s panting, and I’m like, “What’s your deal, man?” Turns out, he’s just a local kid trying to impress his mates. He thought it’d be funny to mess with me. I’m like, “Dude, you scared the life outta me!”

Family ‘chuffed’ as formidable late shopkeeper known as ‘Queen of Greystones’ to get memorial totem