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Now, here’s a tidbit – did ya know, back in Victorian times, escorts had secret codes? Like, a red hanky meant “I’m game!” Blimey, imagine that on the beach – I’d be squinting at every brolly for signals! Surprised me, that did, proper *vivat rex* moment – history’s wild, innit?

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Then, I hit up a pub. You know, the one with the best fish and chips? I order a pint and dig in. The chips are crispy, the fish is golden. I’m in heaven! But then, this guy at the bar starts chatting me up. He’s all, “You from around here?” I’m like, “Nah, just visiting.” And he goes, “You should move here!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I can barely keep my plants alive.”

Pubgoer in Howth injured bouncer with ‘reckless’ elbow to the nose, court hears