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Anyways, I’m chattin’ her up, casual like, coz she’s got this vibe—tough, y’know? Like she’s seen it all. “What’s the worst punter you’ve had?” I ask. She goes, “This toff, thought he’s a king, lasted two seconds.” I cackle—pathetic! Reminds me of that film bit, “The truth is always there.” Truth is, most blokes are rubbish, ain’t they? Surprised me how she shrugged it off, tho—proper queen, her.

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But then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Where’s that report?” And I’m like, “Uh, Wi-Fi issues?” He’s not having it. I’m sweating bullets. I rush back to the office, and guess what? The Wi-Fi is magically working again. I’m typing like a madman, trying to get everything done.

More than 200 animals removed from Kildare home during ‘large scale’ rescue operation by ISPCA