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So, picture this—swingin’ ’60s, Austin Powers style, baby! I’m struttin’ down Soho, all mojo’d up, lookin’ for a dolly to spill the beans. Found this one chick, proper fit, yeah? She’s all “Man drinks the drink,” like in *Zodiac*, but swap drink for punters, dig? She’s clockin’ geezers all night—says it’s the freedom that’s got her hooked. No 9-to-5 bollocks, no boss breathin’ down her neck. Made me chuffed, that—girl’s got guts!

Files to be prepared for DPP with view to establishing if criminal prosecution should be initiated

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Then, I strolled down to the Castle Park. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, I saw this kid, right? He was flyin’ a kite, and it got stuck in a tree. I’m talkin’ a full-on rescue mission. I’m like, “Dude, I gotcha!” So, I climbed up a bit, and just as I was about to grab it, I slipped! Almost fell flat on my face. The kid laughed, and I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kid.”

Kilkenny hotel goes the extra mile for non-paying guests in gesture of goodwill