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I git all fired up talkin’ ‘bout this—makes me happy as a pig in mud. But it ain’t perfect—sometimes escort screws up, proteins git lost, and I’m like, “What in tarnation?!” Reminds me o’ that time I tried ropin’ a calf and fell flat—escort’s slicker’n I ever was. Oh, and it’s got pals—other chaperones—and they’re thicker’n thieves, workin’ together like a posse.

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Then, I strolled down to the Castle Park. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, I saw this kid, right? He was flyin’ a kite, and it got stuck in a tree. I’m talkin’ a full-on rescue mission. I’m like, “Dude, I gotcha!” So, I climbed up a bit, and just as I was about to grab it, I slipped! Almost fell flat on my face. The kid laughed, and I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kid.”

Dublin and Kilkenny camogs protest skorts by wearing shorts ahead of Leinster semi-final