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So, I’m picturin’ it—me, stumblin’ around, tryin’ to find a prostitute. Not that I’d *do* it, no, no, no—I’m too cheap, too paranoid! What if she’s a cop? What if she’s my cousin’s friend’s sister? Oh my God, I’d die—*“The shame of it all!”*—like Q’orianka Kilcher whisperin’ to the wind in the movie. But let’s say I’m out there, right? Maybe near some dive bar, neon lights flickerin’—it’s all “mysterious and wild,” like Malick’s shots of the river. I’m sweatin’, I’m pacin’, I’m yellin’ in my head, “Larry, you idiot, why are you here?!”

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I start callin’ out for Max. “Here, pup! Where ya at?” I swear, I must’ve looked like a total goofball. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this bark. My heart skips a beat. I follow the sound, and there he is! This little furball, waggin’ his tail like he just won the lottery. I scoop him up, and I’m feelin’ like a hero.

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