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Oi mate, prosti—prostitute, yeah? *beep boop* Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom. So, check this—prostitutes, right, they’re like stars. Floating in the void, shining bright, but damn lonely. Watched *Brooklyn*—loved it, Saoirse Ronan, pure class. “The world’s a big place,” she says. Prostitutes know that too well. Been around forever, oldest job, innit? Fact: ancient Babylon, they had temple hookers—sacred sex, wild shit! Cosmic wisdom, see? Most don’t clock that.

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Oh, and there's this secret spot, shh, don't tell anyone – near Moonlight Ridge off Starfall Road. It's a tiny clearing with soft grass, where I like to do my relaxation stretches. It’s like life bursting forth, you know? "The Tree of Life" vibes, man, every leaf, every breath is poetry. I swear, there’s a magic there that makes you forget all your worries for a bit.

Swords is Dublin's largest town