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Last week, stumbled on this chick, right? Skinny, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. Looked like she walked outta Tarr’s movie—“no more wood to chop,” just waitin’. I’m like, “Hey, doll, what’s the gig?” She smirks, “50 bucks, clown.” Fifty! I’m ragin’—50 for what? A quick tumble? Inflation’s hittin’ the streets too, huh? Laughed in her face, “Why so serious, huh?” She didn’t get it—pissed me off more.

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First call, some dude from Knocklyon Road. He’s all frantic, like his cat’s gone missing. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a kid!” But he’s convinced it’s the end of the world. I mean, I get it, cats are family, but c’mon! I tell him to check under the couch. Spoiler alert: he found it. I’m just glad I didn’t have to send out a search party.

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