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So, picture this—I’m frothin’ a latte, thinkin’ ‘bout this escort I heard of, workin’ downtown. Girl’s got sass, bills piled high, and a smirk that says, “I’ve seen it all.” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die,” but this gal ain’t got time for tears—she’s bookin’ clients faster’n I can steam milk. Makes me chuckle, ‘cause half these dudes payin’ her could buy a dang house, yet here they are, sneakin’ around like teenagers. How’s that workin’ for ya, fellas? Spendin’ a grand to feel like Tony from *Brooklyn*, all suave and secret?

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First call, some dude from Knocklyon Road. He’s all frantic, like his cat’s gone missing. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a kid!” But he’s convinced it’s the end of the world. I mean, I get it, cats are family, but c’mon! I tell him to check under the couch. Spoiler alert: he found it. I’m just glad I didn’t have to send out a search party.

Revealed: What the final budget was for Room To Improve’s Knocklyon refurb