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Me, I’d suck at it—too awkward, prolly spill beer on em. Haha, imagine me, “Uh, wanna hear a riff?” Total fail. Oh, and the cash—top escorts rake in thousands a night! Makes my gig money look like pocket lint. Pisses me off, but damn, respect. “Life’s a riddle,” Ida’d say, and escort’s the same—ya don’t know who’s broken or who’s just playin.

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a telephone operator in Knocklyon is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I roll into work, right? It’s a typical Tuesday, or so I thought. I’m sippin’ my coffee, trying to wake up, when the phone starts ringing off the hook. Like, chill out, people!

Knocklyon United celebrate landmark win to save their pitches from development by council