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It’s not just rubbin’, it’s art—sensual, ya, but powerful! Like Fincher’s movie, it’s all bout connection—da masseuse, da oil, da vibe. “I’m talkin’ bout a business worth a billion dollars!”—well, sexual-massage ain’t dat rich, but it FEELS dat rich, ya? I love how it’s sneaky—people whisper bout it, like it’s taboo, but in Europe? Normal as schnitzel! One time, dis guy told me it “heals ya chakras”—I laughed so hard, nearly fell off da table! Chakras? Gimme a break, just make me feel good!

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this huge gust of wind comes and knocks my fan right outta my hand. I was like, “Noooo!” It flew right into the river! I was so dramatic, I swear. I was ready to jump in after it. Yuki was like, “Girl, it’s just a fan!” But I was like, “It’s a cat fan!”

Some Laytown facts as new racing manager Cahalan presides over her first strand meeting