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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk erotic-massage, straight from the gut. Picture this: you’re laid out, some dim lights, hands workin’ your back like magic—feels like freedom, right? Like in *Almost Famous*, when Penny Lane says, “It’s all happening!” That’s erotic-massage, man—raw, real, alive! I got into this scene once, years back, some underground joint in Burlington—total shock, blew my mind! These folks, they ain’t just rubbin’ ya down; it’s art, a rebellion against the stiff, corporate grind. Billionaires? They’d never get it—too busy hoarding cash to feel a damn thing.

Nobody is coming soon

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But then, my phone buzzed. It was my boss. “We need those records by EOD!” I was like, “Seriously? I’m in the middle of a historical treasure hunt!” But you know how it is. Work calls.

Stenson inspires Malahide CS to 41-33 triumph over St. Mary’s Mallow in All-Ireland Under 16A Girls Schools Cup decider