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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sex escorts, yeah? Wild world out there. Been around the block, seen some shit, and lemme tell ya, it’s a mixed bag. Like, I’m talkin’ high-class escorts, the kind that roll up lookin’ like they own MI6—all glamour, no fuss. Makes me happy, y’know? Classy birds who know their game. Reminds me of *Eternal Sunshine*— “Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.” These girls? They forget the blunders, keep it smooth.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my boss. “Hey, we need you at the bullring ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a show!” But you know how it is. Work calls. So, I dash down Via Roma, dodgin’ tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, how many pics do you need of the Colosseum?

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