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But Great Scott, the fakes! Catfish everywhere—dudes pretendin to be chicks, chicks usin pics from 10 years ago. Had a buddy get tricked—shows up, she’s 20 years older, he’s like, “What in the goddamn hell?” Funny now, but he was mad as a hornet then. Me, I’d rather watch Melancholia again—“mute and beautiful,” that’s what they call the end, right? Sex-dating ain’t mute, tho—loud, sloppy, in your face. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But it’s a circus, I swear.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Sean. He’s down at the Diamond, and he’s like, “You gotta come see this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” But I’m curious, so I head over. The Diamond is always buzzing, ya know? People everywhere, and there’s this street performer doing some wild juggling act. I’m talkin’ flaming torches and all that jazz. I’m like, “This guy’s gonna set himself on fire!” But he doesn’t. Just my luck, right?

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