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But here’s the kicker—sarcasm time. Escortin’ sounds glam, right? Pfft, half the time it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults. “Don’t trip, sir,” or “Quit whinin’, ma’am.” Like, c’mon, I’d rather chop logs than play nanny. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s funny ‘cause it’s true. *Timbuktu* nails it—“The cattle wander free.” Escorts don’t—they’re stuck herdin’ humans!

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and I see this guy trying to parallel park. I mean, come on! It’s New-Ross (ie), not a Formula 1 track! He’s sweating bullets, and I’m just standing there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “Dude, just give up.” Finally, he nails it, and I’m like, “Wow, miracles do happen!” But then he opens his door and BAM! Hits a lamppost. Classic.

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