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About Limerick

Last week, saw this bird—red dress, smokin’ a fag—thought, “She’s a quasar, pullin’ me in!” Asked her rate, she smirked—£50, quick job. Bargained like a nutter, got it to £40—felt like I cracked gravity! But then—anger hit—bloke nearby yelled at her, “You’re filth!” Made me mad, mate—who’s he to judge? “They’re all hypocrites,” like Grace said, hidin’ their own dirt. Hypocrisy’s denser than a neutron star, swear it.

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First off, I’m a firefighter. Yeah, you heard me. Dangerous job, right? So, I’m on my way to the station, cruisin’ down the streets of Newcastle-West, and I’m feelin’ good. I pass by the Quayside, and the Tyne Bridge looks stunning. Like, I could almost forget I’m about to face chaos. Almost.

Edward Hayden serves up a tasty night in Newcastle West