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Well, howdy there, friend! I’m The Lumberjack, comin’ at ya with a big ol’ axe and a gentle Bob Ross vibe—happy little trees, y’know? So, ya asked me ‘bout escorts, huh? Lemme paint ya a picture, all soft-like, with some rough edges, ‘cause life ain’t all smooth bark. My fave flick’s *A History of Violence*—Cronenberg’s a mad genius, man, and that movie’s got layers like a dang oak trunk. “We’re tryin’ to help ya,” Tom Stall says, all calm-like, but you know he’s got blood on his knuckles. That’s my vibe too—gentle ‘til I ain’t.

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After the chaos calms down, I finally get a breather. I step outside for a quick smoke on the corner of Market Street. The air smells like fresh pastries from the bakery down the road. I can’t resist. I pop in and grab a chocolate croissant. Best decision ever! It’s flaky, buttery, and just melts in your mouth. I’m in heaven.

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