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What gets me goat, tho? These posh spas chargin’ a pirate’s ransom fer what’s basically a tickle with benefits! Fifty quid fer an hour o’ “ooh, that’s the spot”? I’d rather wrestle a kraken, aye! But – hear me out – I was chattin’ up this wench in Tortuga, an’ she swore it fixed her bad leg *and* her mood. Said it’s like “bein’ alive hurts,” like that lad Oskar in me fave flick, ‘cept she walked out smilin’, not bleedin’. Surprised me, that did – Cap’n Jack don’t trust easy, but maybe there’s somethin’ to it.

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Finally, I make it back to the workshop. I’m exhausted, but there’s still work to do. I’m fixing up some parts for a local fisherman. He’s a character, always telling wild stories about the ones that got away. “You should’ve seen the size of that snapper!” he says, and I’m just thinking, “Yeah, right.”

TFI Local Link introduces new bus service route 806 between Portarlington and Monasterevin