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So we set the deal, 50 bucks, quick ride. I’m hyped, but I’m watchin’ my back — streets ain’t safe, bro. Cops, pimps, weirdos — all lurkin’. Say hello to my little friend! He’s lovin’ this chaos, but I’m sweatin’ bullets. She’s chill, though, says, “Relax, I got you.” And I’m thinkin’, “Tony, you struck gold!”

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Later, I decided to grab some grub at a spot on the Portlaoise Road. The food was bomb! I ordered a burger, and it was massive. Like, I needed a forklift to lift it! I took a bite, and it was pure bliss. I was in my happy place, just munching away, when I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, man! I mean, it was like a scene from a soap opera. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who left the lights on at home. Classic!

Portlaoise Court: Woman caught speeding on her way to Mondello Park