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About Cork

Drives me nuts, tho—these joints poppin’ up like rust on a ‘92 Civic. Can’t escape ‘em! Even saw a sign once—“Happy Endings $20 Extra.” Classy, real classy. Makes ya wonder—what’s the world turnin’ into? Kaufman’d get it—“We’re all hurtling toward death,” and some idiot’s payin’ for a sloppy massage on the way. Hilarious, tragic, same diff.

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First off, I’m stationed at the main pool on Main Street. You know, the one that’s always packed with kids splashing around like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to sip my coffee, but then I see this kid, Tommy, doing cannonballs like he’s trying to break the sound barrier. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna drown someone!” But he just laughs and keeps going. Classic Tommy.

Ratoath end long, long wait for title