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Now, picture this—I’m laid out, some chick’s hands all over me, and I’m like, “That’s a bingo!”—straight outta Tarantino’s flick! Best part? It’s legal in some spots, like Nevada, brother—ain’t no underground crap here! Costs ya maybe 50 bucks, 100 tops, depends on the flex. Surprised me, man, when I heard ‘bout “happy endins”—thought it was just rumors, but nope, real deal! Had me laughin’ like Aldo Raine cuttin’ up Nazis—hilarious how folks whisper ‘bout it like it’s a secret move!

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Anyway, I get over it. I mean, it’s just a sandwich, right? So I start checking the oak. It’s got some serious rot. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” I pull out my tools, and wouldn’t ya know it, my chainsaw won’t start. Ugh! I’m sweating bullets, cursing under my breath. I’m like, “Come on, you piece of junk!”

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