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So, listen, mate – raspy hiss – it’s hands rubbin’, oil drippin’, all sensual-like, yeah? Supposed to relax ya, but me? I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed, precious?” Some bloke in Thailand told me once, “It’s ancient, mate, been ‘round since emperors got frisky!” True story – them old kings had whole rooms for it, candles flickerin’, girls gigglin’. Made me laugh, picturin’ some fat king goin’, “More oil, peasants!” – raspy cackle.

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After that little scare, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the Ringsend Park. It’s a small spot, but it’s got this vibe, ya know? The flowers are blooming, and the smell of fresh grass is in the air. I sit on a bench, just chillin’. I pull out my phone to check the time, and guess what? I’ve got a million notifications. My buddy’s texting me about some pub quiz tonight. I’m like, “Yeah, count me in!”

Ringsend BusConnects corridor to city centre given green light