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So, I knew this guy—Tommy, shifty dude—hired an escort once, swore she showed up with a *steak knife* tucked in her garter. Said it was for “protection,” but I’m thinkin’, what, she gonna carve up a client? Hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my coffee—spilled it all over my apron, pissed me off! But real talk, escorts got guts. GUTS! Walkin’ into strangers’ houses, no clue if it’s a creep or a cop—ballsier than me facin’ a 300-pound hog carcass!

Nobody is coming soon

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Then, the service starts. It’s all heavy and emotional. I’m standing there, trying to be respectful, but my mind’s wanderin’. I’m thinkin’ about the time I got lost on Sallynoggin’s back roads. You know, those narrow lanes that feel like they’re straight outta a horror movie? Yeah, I was convinced I’d never find my way back.

Death Notice of Evelyn (Delie) O'LEARY (née O'Toole) (Sallynoggin, Dublin)