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Heya, mate, it’s Dexter – monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” So, sex-dating, huh? Total wild ride. Been thinkin bout it lately, like, what’s the deal? Hella people swipin right, lookin for hookups. Me, I’m just sittin here, analyzin it all. Like in “Finding Nemo,” ya know? “Just keep swimmin,” they say – but with sex-dating, it’s more like “just keep scrollin.” Endless sea of profiles, man!

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So, I hop on my trusty beast, a big ol’ John Deere. I love that thing. It’s like my second home. I crank it up, and it roars to life. Feels good, ya know? But then, just as I’m about to roll out, I see this kid on the side of the road. He’s got a soccer ball, and he’s trying to juggle it. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then he kicks it, and BAM! Right into my tractor!

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