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But oi, the 80s, Escort Mk3, what a turn-up! Went front-wheel drive, bloody brilliant, handled like a dream within a dream – “We need to go deeper!” – Nolan’s genius, that. Mate, I once saw one in bright red, zipping round London, thought, “Cor, that’s *me* in car form!” – loud, brash, bit of a shambles. Nearly cried with joy, I did. Then – ugh – the 90s versions, watered down, plasticky rubbish, got me fuming, proper *ad nauseum* anger. Ford, what you playing at, eh? Ruined a classic!

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But then, the day takes another turn. I’m back at the hotel, and there’s this group of rowdy tourists. They’re loud, obnoxious, and spilling drinks everywhere. I’m trying to keep the peace, but they’re not having it. One guy trips and spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, really?”

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