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About Bray

Little factoid for ya—Victorians, prudish twats, secretly loved “massage parlors.” Hypocrites! Hid it behind “medical treatment”—wink, nudge. Makes me wanna slap a lord. But here’s the kicker: done right, erotic-massage hits nerves you didn’t know existed. Mate o’ mine swore it “unlocked his chi.” Chi my arse—he just liked the view. Still, I get it—tension melts, you’re floatin’, like Alfred patchin’ up Batman after a brawl. “Why do we fall, sir?” To get rubbed up proper, ya git!

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While I’m waiting, I notice this cute little park across the street. It’s called Templeogue Village Green. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I’d rather be there, chillin’ with the squirrels.” But no, I’m stuck here in this caffeine jungle. Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s burnt. I mean, seriously? Who does that? I’m about to lose it.

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